


Nakamori and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad KID Heist

by greenMelonCube



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Conan is evil, No Romance, Not Beta Read, Oneshot, Poor Nakamori, Swearing, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29910924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenMelonCube/pseuds/greenMelonCube
Summary: Nakamori swears heavily at a KID heist, with a child (or what seemed like one) in the room. Conan decides that he should learn a lesson.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 82





	Nakamori and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad KID Heist

**Author's Note:**

> Conan may be a little OOC in this but, I hope you enjoy my cringe fanfiction.

Conan's day had been horrible. It had been filled with many small but incredibly annoying inconveniences, like stubbing your toe and getting in trouble at school. And KID just _had_ to hold a last minute heist, which he couldn't just _not_ go to, being the KID Killer and all (not because wanted to go or anything). 

And _Hakuba_ was here. It's not like he disliked the guy, but he seemed to be getting way too close to figuring out his identity, and Conan _really_ didn't want to deal with that right now. Besides, clashing wits with the Kaitou KID probably wouldn't help, so he'll have to do something childish to counteract that. 

Conan sighed and gave a look around the room. It was very typical of a KID heist, with the gem in the middle, surrounded on all sides by guards. And, of course, Inspector Nakamori was there, cursing up a storm, as usual. Like seriously, there was a child here (or what looked like one). Conan and Hakuba both have him unnoticed disappointing looks. 

Conan decided he was going to take his anger out on _someone_ tonight. Probably KID.

Suddenly, an idea entered Conan's mind, stopping him in his tracks. It seemed KID may be spared tonight. Oh, and that would solve the Hakuba problem too.

A mischievous smirk formed on his face. Conan walked up to Nakamori and tugged on his jacket a couple times to get his attention. "Hey Nakamori-keibu."

"Huh?" Nakamori looked down at Conan. "What is it?"

"What does fuck mean?" He asked with the childish innocence of someone who _definitely, totally_ doesn't know what fuck means.

An almost eerie silence fell over the room. Nakamori just stood, speechless. 

"Didn't you just say that?" He continued, as it seemed the Inspector was stunned into silence. "I've never heard that word before. I wanna know what it means." He said, playing the part of just a curious child. 

"A-ah! C-Conan-kun!" Nakamori sputtered with fear in his eyes. "Y-you can't say that!"

"Huh? Why not?" He whined.

"It's a _bad_ word."

"A bad word?" He repeated.

"Yes. So _please_ don't say it." Nakamori begged, bringing his hands together.

"But, why?" He wondered, bringing his hand up to his chin. "Why would you make a word that you can't say?" 

"I-I don't know... Look-" Nakamori sighed.

"It doesn't really sound bad though." Conan interrupted. "Fuck... Fuck..." He played around with the word while Nakamori panicked, failing to come up with a way to stop the boy from saying it. "Heh heh." He giggled. "It's kinda fun to say. Rhymes with duck."

" _P-please_... Stop saying it." Nakamori begged, head in hands. He gave a pleading look to the others in the room. Hakuba just shrugged back, with no help to offer, and the guards mostly looked away, pretending there was no conversation even being had. Although one of the guards (who also looked way younger than the rest) was trying his hardest to keep in his laughter. 

"Listen Conan." Nakamori began. "I know those words don't sound bad but they are. And, they weren't originally meant to be bad. They just became so over time."

"Ah..!" Conan pretended to realize. Nakamori sighed and clutched his chest, with a glad look on his face. "But," Conan continued, much to the Inspector's dismay. "If it's bad.. why did you say it?" 

Nakamori was stunned yet again. "A-ah, well..." He stuttered out. "Sometimes Mr. Nakamori gets really mad and it just slips out." He said with a softer tone of voice, and crouched down to Conan's eye level. Conan blanched a little at the very kid-friendly actions and choice of words, but schooled his expression before anyone could notice.

"Oh, okay!" Conan said. Nakamori sighed in relief, thankful that the ordeal was over. "But, you still haven't told me what it means!" Conan pouted. Panic befell Nakamori yet again.

"W-well, it's a bad word!" He explained. "That's not something a kid should know."

"Come on! You don't have to treat me like a child." Conan scoffed. "I've seen dead bodies before. It can't be _that_ bad."

Nakamori gave him a worried look at his comment, but then groaned and held his head in his hands, accepting defeat. Hakuba and the guards all sweat-dropped.

"You also said shit." Conan ruthlessly continued. "And asshole. And bitch. What do those mean?"

"C-Conan-kun.. _please_." Nakamori begged, giving up. "Th-those are bad words too. Don't say them." He meekly explained.

"But, what do they mean!?" Conan whined. "You still haven't told me!"

Nakamori looked like he wanted to cry at this point. He gave one last silent plea to the others in the room, but was met with looks of concern. (Except ~~KID~~ that one guard, who had his hand over his mouth and was shaking with suppressed laughter.)

But then, Nakamori gasped and looked at his watch, a lightbulb turning on in his head. "Ah! There's only ten minutes till the heist! You shouldn't be here, Conan. Mouri-san is probably worried." He turned him towards the door to leave.

"Ehhh!? But I don't wanna..!" Conan pouted and crossed his arm, utilizing his current looks to act bratty and childish. "I'm usually allowed at KID heists. And, you _still_ haven't told me what fuck means!"

" _Please_ stop saying that." He groaned. "And only the police are allowed in this room. Even Hakuba isn't allowed, _right_?" He gave a pointed look towards Hakuba. 

Hakuba startled a bit at the attention now directed towards him. "Y-yeah, Conan." He said, finally deciding to help the poor inspector and going along with his scheme. "Come on, we should leave." He gestured in the direction of the door.

"Alright... Yeah, I guess so." Conan sighed. A look of pure joy and relief came across Nakamori. He rushed over to the door and gladly held it open for them. Hakuba grabbed Conan's hand and led him out.

A few seconds after the door closed, Conan ran off and cheerfully said, "I can just ask Ran-neechan!" Just loud enough for the other side to hear.

Nakamori's breath stopped in his throat and his grip on the doorknob tightened. A bout of laughter could be heard from the room, but Nakamori could not process it as visions passed through his mind of what would happen to him after the karate master heard the words he had taught her ward. 

With a gasp, he shouted, "Wait! Conan!" And slammed back open the door.

However, unfortunately for the inspector, Conan was already long gone, leaving a confused Hakuba behind. 

Nakamori's legs collapsed from underneath him, as he stared blankly at the empty hallway. 

* * *

"Wow Inspector! I couldn't help but notice you've cleaned up your potty mouth. It's a nice change." KID said with a cheeky smile.

"Shut the f-" Nakamori's eyes wandered to the child standing next to him. "F-frick up!"

KID erupted with cackling laughter as he ran off with the jewel.


End file.
